@work

Doug, walking into the room: "As in vaginas, right?"

@Work

Brandon: "Oh yeah. Incest!"
Three other people: "What?"

@ My friend's house.

Mike:"The red stuff coming out of my nose isn't blood, it's sausage."

Very weird @ the bar

Some girl: "Would you buy a honeycomb from my vagina?"

Your mom jokes gone too far @work

Todd: "...I have to inject her so she can sleep through the bleeding."
CJ: "I don't even want to know what you are talking about"

@work

Coworker: "Any employee manual that mentions bagpipes in the harassment section is OK by me."

@Work

Paul: "Did you get that IM I sent you?"
Me: "No."
(two minutes later)
IM from Paul: "Look behind you."
(I look behind me just in time to catch a Nerf dart with my face)
Me: "Who did you send the original message to?"
Paul: "Oh, some women down stairs."
CJ: "Great Paul, now she probably thinks you are stalking her."
Paul: "Probably."

@Work

Doug:
"The Google Earth van just drove by. I flicked it off!" (Followed by a visual demonstration.)
(a couple of minutes later)
"I swear there was this little van driving by with all these cameras and a GPS thing on top. I was like what the... GOOGLE" (visual aid again)